At one of the colleges where I work, I often encounter a guy I've nick-named "Bitter Guy" (he is bitter about his movie scripts not selling--completely comprehensible!). For the purposes of this blog, I will continue to call him Bitter Guy although, yes, he does have a name, and I do know what it is.
He teaches a class after I finish my three classes for the day. Lately, when I've been over in the English building, I've encountered him waiting for his next class to begin, and we've discussed politics. He is a liberal--I'm a conservative libertarian plus I don't much care for political scandals, so I'm not usually ready to combat arguments about what scandalous things have shown up about a politician on the web lately. However, he is a reasonably rational human being, and I'm a reasonably rational human being, and we can usually at least exchange ideas. He can say what he thinks. I can say what I think, etc.
And sometimes the conversation gets downright hilarious. Today, I was complaining about how Democrats and Republicans use the whole "man of the people" approach, and he started doing this riff about how politicians tell stories: "Poor little Johnny with no legs crawled up to me, trailing blood and pleading, 'Oh, Politician, please help me . . .'" (Yes, I do think that is hilarious.)
Unfortunately, our conversations appear to be at an end. Towards the end of our conversation today, we were joined by a guy who works in one of the nearby offices, had overheard our conversations and couldn't contain himself any longer.
As soon as he started, I knew the reasonably intelligent and humorous exchanges I'd had with Bitter Guy were at an end. The new guy--I'll call him totally officious arrogant dude (Toad)--said, "I'm just wondering how they will rig the election this year."
Oh, yeah, conspiracy theories about elections, how fascinating. (Insert MAJOR sarcastic monotone.)
Then Toad started going on about how the computers in 2004 were rigged. I said, "But in Florida when they recounted the actual ballots, Bush won."
"No," he said. "The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, [etc. etc.] all said the votes in [x] states came out in favor of Kerry."
I was still naive enough to think that actually presenting my point of view/knowledge would be effective, so I reiterated that Florida counted the votes, and Bush won Florida, and a tiny article did appear about that fact. [Note: You may perceive that I confused the 2000 and 2004 elections although, for all I know, Florida recounted its votes in 2004 as well as 2000. Joe clarifies information about the 2000 election in the comments, and I comment on my confusion. Unfortunately, it wouldn't have mattered much which election I'd referred to: 2004, 2000, or 1824: Bush stole them all! Toad did not respond to my statement by correcting my misinformation--I doubt he knew my information was incorrect. He responded as follows:]
"Of course you would say that," Toad said. (Remember this phrase--"Of course you would say that": we'll be coming back to it.)
In any case, Toad's response was a huge clue that this was the type of conversation where Toad's "facts" are all legitimate (no matter how unlikely to human nature) while my "facts" are all tainted. Yeah, I've been here before.
I said so. I said, "This is going to be one of those conversations where everything Republicans do is evil, and everything liberals do is good, and I don't do those kinds of political conversations."
"No, it isn't," Bitter Guy and Toad chorused, and Toad started trying to tell me that I was misrepresenting what he'd said.
The ?monologue? didn't get any better. I kept making motions to leave (I should have just walked out), but every time I did, there was an insistence by both guys that they weren't being extreme, that Toad wasn't--as I claimed--simply throwing political statements around and politicizing everything. You can't have a conversation with a person who instead of responding to what you say--see below--puts political bars around it before moving on to his NEXT conspiracy theory.
For example, Toad said, "I'm willing to admit that [United States' democracy] was a failed experiment. I think Plato was right. I'm in favor of a benevolent dictatorship."
"Uh," I said, "I wouldn't agree with that," which was much nicer, I think you will agree, than saying, "You're one of the stupidest people I've ever met. What are you doing teaching here in a good community college? You should be teaching at some yuppie bastion of higher academe with other lame brains who think their freshman-level 'insights' about America are soooo sophisticated."
No, I didn't say that at all; I just said, "Uh, I wouldn't agree with that."
"Oh," he said, "of course you wouldn't."
Of course you wouldn't. Not "Why do you disagree with me?" Not even "Let me explain why I'm right in detail" which would have been excruciating (stupidity doesn't usually get much better in detail) but at least would have shown a desire on Toad's part to communicate, exchange ideas, and maybe learn.
Nope. "Of course you wouldn't," he said. "I've been listening to you for a week."
So this guy has heard me talking twice about politics and has decided, based on those 60 or so minutes that he knows what I think and that nothing I say can surprise him because . . .
Hmm--let's think about this. Let's suppose this guy had heard me going on and on about how evil Bush is, how stupid Bush is, how much I hate Republicans for those 60 minutes or so, do you think it is likely he would say to me, "Of course you think that" whenever I made a statement?
Are you kidding? He would be fawning all over me. We would spend the hour between classes throwing bumper stickers all over each other and telling each other how much we hate the establishment--yeah, they stink, yeah, yeah.
Sheep.
From the beginning of the ?conversation? Toad had been very clear about his perspective, especially in comparison to mine. Plus, I've heard his tone of voice before. It's the tone pundits use to dismiss anyone who presents ideas they don't like without said pundits actually having to address those ideas or explain their own ideas.
So, once again, I tried to point out to Toad and Bitter Guy that I don't much care for these types of political conversations--mostly because there wasn't one. Toad wasn't listening to anything I said; instead, he was dismissing everything that didn't support his "Bush stole the 2004 election; McCain is horrible; Hillary is right about healthcare; American democracy isn't working; one of these days, the Republicans will declare marshal law" perspective. In fact, Toad wasn't prepared to even ponder that he might be wrong about any of his facts or that anyone's facts or perspectives might have validity. (My inability to be completely unreasonable is a handicap in this type of conversation. For all I know, the New York Times and Wall Street Journal did print the articles Toad mentioned, and I personally accept those newspapers as more or less trustworthy sources. If I was less rational, I could have shouted, "We all know the New York Times is simply a product of liberal think-tanks!" which would have been the level Toad was arguing at. But I can never pull off stuff like that.)
I didn't say all of the above, but I did try to say some of it, and, yup, I was told once again by Toad that I was misreading what he'd said.
Then Toad made a mistake. He said, "I don't see how any woman could vote for the McCain platform."
And I got mad, really mad. I despise that kind of political platitude--the kind of thinking that says all women must function as a group and should think a certain way and should only be concerned about so-called women's issues.
I said so. AND once again, Toad tried to tell me that I was reading a stance into his statement that wasn't there. He wasn't making any claims about how women should vote!
But he'd already made the mistake, and I had proof.
I said, "So why didn't you say, 'I don't see how people could vote for McCain's platform? Why did you say 'women'?"
He was actually momentarily stymied, but Bitter Guy--who, I think, was trying to bring the conversation back to a rational level--said, "Here are the things I don't agree with about the McCain platform," and started listing them.
If the conversation had just been me and Bitter Guy at that point, I would had heard him out (as I had done during our prior conversations). But I was so fed up with Toad's disingenuous politicized pontificating, that I interrupted Bitter Buy after the third item.
"Yeah," I said. " And if I then told you that there were things about McCain's platform I agreed with, then you," and I turned to Toad, "would say, 'Oh, of course you do.'"
That, I told them--far less coherently and calmly than I am writing this--is just throwing political statements at people, and I don't do that.
What I really meant to say was "Toads who dismiss people who think differently than them without hearing out what said people actually think are self-righteous jerks," but it didn't come out that way.
"I don't do that," I said and walked out.
I confess I wish I was the kind of cool-headed person who could have wryly pushed the conversation to some truly extreme level and then shrugged my shoulders at the witlessness of it all. I wish I was the kind of cool-headed person who could have said, early on, "I know where this is going" and just left. Sometimes, I can be that cool-headed person, but it's really hard when one is faced when so much foolish self-righteousness within a five minute period! And after two years of grad school, I no longer feel obligated to put up with it.
The irony is, exchanging ideas with Bitter Guy was enough to get me thinking, "Maybe, I'll go the libertarian route after all." I still like Obama even if I think his platform has some major weaknesses [2012: I no longer think this, mostly because Obama has ceased to be a gentleman in my eyes]. Talking to Toad makes me want to go out and vote for every single conservative and Republican candidate I can get my hands on--like those annoying anti-cigarette commercials that make me want to start smoking.
But I've gained more insight into why (some) liberals believe--KNOW--they aren't intolerant despite all evidence to the contrary. It isn't just that they think "my liberalism = tolerance" as I've postulated elsewhere. Rather, they honestly think that belittling another person's perspective isn't intolerance. Toad honestly seems to believe (or acted as if he believes) it is his god-given right or gift to humanity to trot out his political extremism and dismiss all other perspectives from a discussion. Of course, I'm right! I'm doing you a favor by making sure you know how right am I! If you question my tolerance, it must be that YOU are intolerant. If you call me on my intolerance, you must be reading your own intolerant paranoia into my statements. Nothing I say or do could possibly be close-minded--after all, I'm a liberal.
When Goldberg pairs liberalism with fascism . . . he isn't wrong.
Regarding Toad's implicit chauvinism: I address that here.
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